”Sir, where you going?”, “tuk tuk!? Taxi!?”, ”I know a tailor!”

Bangkok

It is a very different city than any other that I have been to before. From canal boats to sky-train, dirty streets to spotless temple floors, shrines bordered by skyscrapers, street vendors to mega malls, there is a lot of variety. There is less sightseeing than places in Europe, but I found there is more to do and just walking the streets is much more interesting. For example, just when I thought I was getting the hang of this Street Vendor, Street Vendor, Taxi, Tuk Tuk, Street Vendor, Hooker, Street Vendor thing, I see a guy walking down the street with a real elephant. I mean, .. really? An elephant? And in another place that I happened to walk by several times, I thought I was lost at first because I thought it was a food court, but it has turned into a market in the day time, and that same night it turned back into a food court.

Speaking of food, Thailand had some of the better food I’ve had on my trip, and certainly the cheapest. I could eat really good seafood like scallops, shrimp, crab or squid plus a drink for less than $5. Regular Pad Thai on the street is closer to $1.50. Also I could afford to buy ice cream snacks in every store which was a great way to cool off, or the alternative bottled water from 7-11 for about 20 cents.

To summarize my time in Bangkok: shrines, temples, street markets, covered markets, crazy close crammed markets in China Town, super malls, counterfeit goods of all kinds, bargaining with shop owners, buying more stuff than I have room to carry, drinking, clubs, go go bars, drinking (hey its cheap), the Skytrain, canal boats, river boats, getting lost (again) trying to find a pier for the river boat, the Grand Palace, the Reclining Buddha, the Emerald Buddha, Wat Pao, Wat Arun, the Golden Temple, uneven surfaces, my first flesh wound – a cut toe while wearing flip flops, every where I go getting asked where am I going and if I need a taxi, a tuk tuk or a tailor, being lied to by scammers, phonies and frauds, seeing signs which say “beware of wily strangers” not 10 feet away from said wily stranger, Ong Bok 2, several open air concerts and performances, one night at the Conrad Hotel, which was ridiculously nice, and ringside Muay Thai boxing! Phew… a very busy few days, so you can understand why I’m not going to go into all that much detail here.

Phuket

So it’s time to leave Bangkok for the beaches of Phuket and Phi Phi and I need to get to the airport to catch my flight. But first, I needed to go pick up my bag that I left in a locker at the hostel that I had been staying at. My taxi driver doesn’t speak English but it’s OK, he has a cell phone and calls a dispatcher who is fluent in English. I explain that I need to go to Sukhumvet Soi 1, to get something and then to the domestic airport. She says OK and explains to the driver. He says OK and looks like he understands and so we go to Soi 1. I come back outside and he is there waiting still, so far so good, we get on the freeway, and after a few minutes things start to look a lot like when I came into town and I start to think he is taking me to the wrong airport. I ask him to call the dispatcher again, and explain to her that I think the driver is taking me to the wrong airport, and sure enough, after some loud and stressed conversation in Thai between driver and dispatcher, we get off the freeway and are headed to the correct airport. Lucky I left early and still made my flight on time.

The Flight

I had booked the return flight to Bangkok before I started my trip, but for some reason I never made a reservation to get to Phuket, so I ended up getting the ticket only a few days earlier when I realized I still didn’t have a ticket to get down there. I had never flown business class and the ticket was only about $20 more, so I went for it, and I’d say it was worth it. If I ever have the choice like that again I would say it is well worth the few extra bucks, especially when departing from major airports which have lounges (unlimited free internet, food and drinks).

Patong Beach

The first thing to greet you in Patong Beach is not the girls asking if you want a massage, and not people asking you every ten feet if you need a taxi or a tuk tuk or a tailor, but the strong smell of sewage. There are areas in Bangkok like that as well but it wasn’t as strong or as widespread. I remember the first group of people getting off the shuttle from the airport at a resort called the ‘Sea View Hotel’ and I was thinking, “They should rename that place to the ‘Sh*t Smelling Hotel’” although that doesn’t quite roll off the tongue as well. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge because my hostel was about 20 meters up the road and the smell was worse, and I’m sure the accommodations were much worse. One thing I did notice that was nice though was that there are a lot less smokers than in Europe and the car and bike exhaust is more like California, much more breathable.

Compared to Bangkok though, Patong is much more touristy, the harassment is worse, and it was very crowded. The constant harassment got so bad the only way I could deal with it was to start replying to people in the same way: they say “Sir where you going?” and I reply “You need a suit? I know a tailor!” Or what was even more fun was asking the girls if they wanted a massage before they could ask you, which usually resulted in a good laugh for all. It was still a lot of fun, and a good place to have a few drinks, but I wanted a change of pace from that sort of thing which is what I had been doing every night in Bangkok, and the poor shape of the place I had made sleeping arrangements with sealed the deal. This place was so bad, worst place I stayed in the whole trip, even though it was rated at 95% on the website. Some of the bad things included needing to turn on a water pump to use the water, bumping my head on the low ceilings, bad plumbing, there was hot water at least, but no air-conditioning, dirty floors, lots of steep, short stairs to 5th floor, and since it was so hot with no AC I slept with no covers and they left the windows open, so I woke up with about 10-15 mosquito bites on my feet! The rest of the time in Phuket I stayed in the nearby town that is mostly for the locals, Phuket Town.

Phuket Town

The first thing I noticed was there was no smell! Maybe it was all just backpackers who needed a shower?… But being that the town is mostly for locals, no one outside my hotel spoke English. So I had fun having lunch at a Hong Kong style seafood place, having someone do my laundry for 1.25 USD (versus 9 euros to do it myself), and getting a haircut all without speaking the same language. Wandered across some live countdown event outdoor concert sponsored in part by Heineken, I couldn’t understand any of what they were singing but I have to say I really like the way the Thai language sounds, and the beer was cheap.

Phi Phi

The next day I was supposed to go with a tour group to do a little island hopping and snorkeling, and they told me to be downstairs waiting for the shuttle to pick me up at 8:15. I get there at 8:10, and the doorman tells me the shuttle just left three minutes ago, and they called my room four times, only I was having breakfast upstairs… Ahh! So I jump in a taxi to get to the pier hopefully to find my tour group and still do something useful with my day since I didn’t have any other plans. I couldn’t find the group I was originally supposed to go with but there was another agency there that basically did the same tour and let me go with them for the same price. It worked out because I had a lot of fun and met a nice group of Australians, Lin, Jeff and Coco. The speed boat was really bumpy, and fun, saw the beach where the movie The Beach was filmed, I lost my snorkel! I decided to put my fins and mask on once in the water, and so I got my fins on and then realized I didn’t have a snorkel. But I swam back a few feet and saw something on the bottom that didn’t look quite like a rock, so I dove down to check it out, and recovered my snorkel on first dive! Phew… Also got to do a little speed boat wind-standing, the guide said he should start charging extra for that. And saw a sea snake while snorkeling at another island later that day.

Finished off the day with a Thai massage, running to the store to get my laundry before it closed (I had to leave in the early morning the next day, and I would have been out a critical amount of my traveling wardrobe…), paying too much for a taxi to take me to Patong to meet up with my Aussie friends, since I had no time, again, dinner, drinks, a ping-pong show, and some Banana Disco. Definitely one of the best days of my trip.

The Flight Back

One thing that I don’t want to forget because it is just funny as hell is the random people on scooters asking if I need a taxi while I have a full daypack, a computer bag and my carry-on bag with me. Do they expect me to leave my bag? Or are they just that crazy that they will try to take it with them somehow and not drop it? But, I have enough to worry about today, I need to get a taxi to the airport so that I don’t miss my flight since I woke up late, and then I have only an hour and a thirty minutes once I get to bangkok to get my bags and check in again for my Emirates flight to Hong Kong. And since I didn’t arrange for a shuttle from my hotel, they said ‘no taxi,’ so I’m outside trying to get one off the street when they call me back and let me get in a shuttle with another group who happened to be going to the airport just then too. Phew. So I get to the airport and I’ve got about an hour and a half before my flight leaves, I check the departures board, .. the flight is DELAYED! I am so screwed. I get through the check-in line, and they ask me if I am going anywhere once I get to Bangkok, “well actually, I was going to go to Hong Kong but I’m not sure if I will make the flight now.” I find out that Bangkok Air just started a new program on December 1st this year where they will transfer your check-in bags to other airlines at the Bangkok airport if you have another flight out. And you can go through immigration at this airport! I’m saved! Otherwise I would only have had from 12:05 to 13:05 from the flight landing to the gate closing for my next flight to taxi, deplane, get my bags, check in for the next flight, clear immigration, go through security again, get to the gate, and board.

The Flight Out

I should make a whole post about this because it was awesome but, Emirates overbooked business class and I got a first class upgrade! After a few minutes and free food and drinks in the lounge, I am on the plane and decide, “what the hell, I’ll have the champagne,” the flight attendant says “it’s Dom Perignon, a very nice champagne, enjoy it.” Duck, scallops and smoked salmon for the meal among other things, red wine, lots of cheese “I’ll have a small slice of each,” desert, a massaging chair, and the snobby old British woman, Liz, sitting next to me actually talked to me. She liked my computer and decided she would buy one too.

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